Carpe Diem Practitioner Gifts

"Many of you were confused about the 'Randy's how to be an alpha' lesson from yesterday: 'live like you've got nothing left to lose'."

I want a calendar where every day says here and now

Giving Things Up For Lent.

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

Saying Grace.

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

"I warned you about those contortions, Mr. Dershowitz."

"We'll publish your book, doctor, but we'll have to get a second opinion."

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

'You've got plenty of time for a little prayer before you get to him.'

"It's the witching hour somewhere."

"If I ask you something, will you promise not to get mad?"

Give Thanks.

Church of divine healing - Emergency Room.

'He made it big in the athlete prayer industry.'

'I've been praying for a revelation, but nothing happens!'

How to Succeed in Business - Strategy 2: Build relationships at the highest level.

A watched kettle never boils.

"All I have is tofu."

"So … ribs for lunch?"

Gregorian Monks: Please turn off your cell phones.

"I wonder what we did in a past life that made us all go bald?"

'It doesn't matter what pills you give me, whatever they're for, I'm sure to have it...'

Oprah and Phantom of Oprah.

'I'm either going to become a vegetarian or start saying grace before meals!'

'It sure didn't pay to increase my vocabulary that time!'

"Now I lay me down to sleep..."

'What are you, some kind of religious nut?'

"Let's take our fun where we can find it."

Bob's personal journey of spiritual growth gets bogged down behind some idiot going half the speed limit.

"And God bless Mr. Chu's Szechuan Palace."

'Well!!! I don't even get a simple thank you.'

'Can you move me to the top of your prayer list?'