Carp Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Y'know, you CAN'T just keep sweeping stuff under the carp forever."

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

Instructional guide to scribbling

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Origami horse leaping out of a book about origami

About the potter.

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Moliere

Thor's Other Tools

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

Bleak House

Charles Dickens.

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

'No! Not rare, not medium, not well-done: I want my steak raw! Thank you...'

'Joe makes all our own funiture!'

Sick Of A Low-Carb Diet

'These were developed in the 1980s - they're a heritage genetically modified variety.'

"Leftover seeds."

'What a gorgeous mug. Did you make that by hand... or by foot?'

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

'Would you like it rare, very rare or still running? We close in twenty minutes.'

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

'Wall-to-wall carpets go on the floor, not on the walls.'

Sergei Rachmaninov

Sewing A Christmas Dress.

"Like a grind stone cowboy!"

Ground Game!

"I wish I could do hands..."

"Oh yes sir, white collar—very tender."

A man carves a totem pole