Carnivorous Comic Lover Pillows

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

International Women's Day

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

No-Work Orange

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

'The school bus drove off without me. The driver said she couldn't allow one more peanut butter sandwich on her bus.'

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

"Have you been playing dice?"

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

'I think your father's had one of his big ideas...'

The Food Chain

Window Treatment

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

"I figured out how to raise my grades."

Maybe there's something to this global warming after all.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

Zeus's Caddy