
Eat Pork
Add some meaty humor to your living space with a comfy pillow that celebrates the Carnivore Captain. Perfect for the grill master or meat lover in your circle.
Eat Pork
"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."
One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry
'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'
'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'
"Gazelle's pizza! Delivered fast and delicious... Um, you guys aren't interested in pizza are you!?"
"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"
A butcher and his apprentice.
'White meat or dark?'
I Heart Dinosaurs Chef
"Man, what I wouldn't do for one of those free-range meals right now."
Jurassic Country Club.
Cooked rare.
"Steak for breakfast, steak for lunch, steak for dinner. . . you can't stop evolution!"
'I dunno. Maybe we need a new slogan.'
'No! Not rare, not medium, not well-done: I want my steak raw! Thank you...'
Sick Of A Low-Carb Diet
The Steaks have a Last Desperate Attempt to Escape
"So who gets the rib eye and who gets the salad?"
"Hurry, dear, it's the Brutal Gourmet."
Caveman restaurant: Oogs Pieces of cooked meet: Over one Dozen Served.
Too rare perhaps?
'Your businessman's lunch, sir — Raw meat and whiskey.'
'Would you like it rare, very rare or still running? We close in twenty minutes.'
We'll have whatever they are
Dr Atkins on a date: 'Why does he keep looking at me like I'm a piece of meat?'
The food was nice...but something was missing.
"Check this out. If you pace back and forth, it hypnotizes them and they give you a steak."
'Eat my vegetables? - I thought we were supposed to be predators!'
'Not at all, Mr. Porker, we already have several pigs working in our company cafeteria.'
"The abattoir hasn't any butchers so you'll have to help yourself a bit more than usual."
'OK, it's a deal: I'll get you a Christmas Turkey if you get me a big Salmon...'
Ground Game!
"Oh yes sir, white collar—very tender."
'Eat my vegetables? - I thought we were supposed to be predators!'
Explore our collection of Carnivore Captain mugs and find the perfect humorous and hearty drinkware to kickstart your day.
Discover vibrant prints celebrating the Carnivore Captain, ideal for decorating kitchens, bars, or grilling spaces with a touch of humor and flair.
Browse our Carnivore Captain t-shirts and wear your meat-loving pride with witty, creative designs that stand out.