Career Switcher With Stories Pillows

'I see you've never been fired by an employer, but you have been fired at.'

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

I'm stepping out to look for a better job...

Planned service changes

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

'Then after the pan our third album, we split for musical differences..'

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

Medical student overdrafts...careers in the law.

"You're kidding! I used to be an economist myself!"

"Originally I wanted to be a stockbroker but found I fainted at the sight of money.''

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

Laid off from a dot-com? Ask about our resume-writing software.

"I've worked as a wet-nurse for ten years, but I'm after something new now..."

"How long have you been working from home, Mr. Farley?"

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'He was a barman before he got into the demolition game.'

"I've been promoted from barbarian pillager to management. Do you know how to tie a neck tie?"

'We need someone bright, someone quick to take notice.'

"Any experience?"

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

"I take it you're not heartbroken to be leaving the firm!"