Career Realization Gifts

Experience Required

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

37 years in the same position.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

'Great news this quarter! Losses are up in smoke, profits are high, and we're seeing lots of green!'

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

I've been working 20 hours a day. Well, that leaves you four hours to get to work.

"Mum, I got the job!"

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

"In addition to 'loyalty' are there any OTHER qualities you think you could bring to the job?"

"Sure, I'm a successful working bee, but sometimes, I wish I could have a family..."

'Don't worry about your job at the office, Sweetie. They declared bankrupty today.'

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

"....how many kids have we got now?"

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

"The good news is we've used up all our bad ideas."

Working 9 to 5.

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

"I've finally arrived. The C.E.O. stopped saying 'who the hell are you' whenever he sees me."

If you really need permanent staff for IMMEDIATE cover then we could pull out all the stops and get someone by next October.

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

'Remember, my door is always open Higgins, just be careful of the trap door.'

'This is the last time we post job openings,'