Career Officer Gifts

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

A very young man being hired as a groom.

Deskboxes: 'LATE' and 'NEVER'.

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

'I have serious doubts about the efficiency of that new 'apples and bucket' hiring test.'

"And this is our new HR officer in charge of morale..."

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the recruitment and training of new staff to replace the staff we laid off."

'Remember that promotion you were asking for last month, , ,Well, something just opened up,'

"I tell you, I don't like the looks of it."

"This is Mr Jones, the new Head of our Holding Company."

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

"Pardon us, Harrison, if the board fails to share your enthusiasm for the foliage up in Darien,"

"Did I say 'corner office'? I meant 'corner of my office'."

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

Business isn't booming.

"I can't remember, did you text me, call me, tweet me, email me, or just tell me about it?"

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

"Very nice résumé. Leave a sample of your DNA with my secretary."

'And my board approved this?'

'I see you hold degrees in both medicine and law - But tell me, Henderson; do use these powers for good or for evil?'

'Kids, if I'd gotten into computers, instead of baseball, I'd have a job now!'

'Something that'll get me googled,'

'The really scary part is that he is the new head of human resources.'

"I think I've been spending too much time here at work. When I went home last night my wife didn't recognize me and had me arrested for trespassing."

"To me..It says Art Council crap regional funding"

"We only hire temps, and you have a look of permanence about you."

'I thought I'd put in the details later.'

'Does that include our hidden agendas when they asked everyone to re-prioritize?'

"Have you given any thought at all about where you might like to accrue your student loan debt?"