Career Humor Fan Gifts

"I used to be a political lobbyist, then along came this chance to be a slug."

'Don't be alarmed - I'm a proctologist.'

"PHD! I'm impressed with your credentials."

"Actually, I worked my way up from 'ideas'."

'The only job we have available is on the nightshift...'

'Sure, I'll hire you -- I could use a good tax loss this year.'

Clown waiter gives a chicken to diners

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

Can do...No can do

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

The Rubber Ball Company

Organization is not rocket science!

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

'Our problem is how to lower quality while raising prices...'

A secretary at a desk with a nameplate the says Dot Com.

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"It's crazy here! They're all on recreational rugs."

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

"I always like to clear my desk off for the weekend."

"Good news. It's a small pig."

'My team likes to see me spring into action.'

Quality Control

'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'