
"What are your other qualifications besides 'my daddy owns the company'?"
Dress up your favorite critic of career advice in a t-shirt that’s witty, clever, and fresh, making their passion for improvement stand out with style.
"What are your other qualifications besides 'my daddy owns the company'?"
'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'
'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'
'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'
'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'
'What sort of mission statement is that?'
I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.
"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."
'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'
I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....
"Staff support"
'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'
'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'
'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'
Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.
Reach for the Star.
International Women's Day.
"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"
'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'
'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'
Pipe Dream.
"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"
'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!
"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."
"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."
'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'
"You're just the man we're looking for. Come around to this side of the desk, and I'll gather up my things and get the heck out of here."
'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'
"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"
'How many times have I told to seize the day before it seizes you?'
"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."
"At this office no two days are different."
I'm a self-made man!
'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'
"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."
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