Career Advisor Critique T-Shirts

Career Analyst "Well I've looked at your file and yes, your job is rubbish"

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

"Typical company, I'm the only woman!!"

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"I'm interested in working with animals and deliveries."

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

'Jumping over a candle stick is known as an entry level job.'

"What are your other qualifications besides 'my daddy owns the company'?"

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

"The boss told me I have to start at the bottom."

Sid Sinatra.

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

Opp'y of a Lifetime

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

Tonight's Lecture: Globalization. I've never worried about my job going overseas --- None of my jobs ever went anywhere.

"I like the idea of becoming a prosecutor: charging people appeals to me..."

A turning point in young Louis Pasteur's Life.

Boss asks early man: 'So ... where do you see yourself in four million years?'

"You look a lot better on paper than you do online."

You Don't Have To Be Crazy To Work Here But You Will Be After The Training.