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"I'll be honest. It wasn't my first choice of career."

"I hate performance review season."

What else is there to wish for?

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

"Today we are going to find out if you can that leap."

"He's the best our AI recruitment algorithm could fund, unfortunately our AI is really stupid."

'Your resume seems in order, Mr. Lupo, but would you explain exactly why you want to work here> Mr. Lupo...?

The first case of resume padding.

"Nice touch." - Resume playing music.

"It's amazing to think he started out in the lobby."

'Are all of these letters of recommendation from your mother?'

"We like to think of ourselves as a very progressive company. After all, a little self-delusion never hurt anyone."

"Can I put in a claim for interview trauma compensation?"

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

Hot Halloween Costumes

'We're looking for someone who either has a good background or can concoct a good story about one.'

'Our coach telecommutes.'

"I hope you've had as much fun training me as I've had being trained."

"Shame about the ovaries..."

'Your r

'The resume is handwritten because I am not very good with computers' - The LAST thing you should say in ANY job interview.

Acme Group: Glass Ceiling

'You have an online degree from the college of hard knocks'

"Once we corroborate your impressive resume with your social media persona, we'll get in touch."

Naomi Osaka

"Here in your resume, I see that you expect compensation commensurate with the value you bring. No one should work for free, son."

"Don't forget to stop to take a selfie of smelling the roses and post it on social media."

"You say your biggest faults are working too hard and blind loyalty to your employer. What do you take me for… An idiot?"

'As an exercise I placed eleven dustbins on the pitch and made the team dribble around them...The bins won 5-0.'

Job Interview, "This company wants a person who is both ruthless and intelligent but who is also too dumb to want to try for my job."

'It is our hope that the salary this job offers will take your mind off it's meaninglessness.'

Jimmy Hill

'Impressive...you've got walking.'

"Well, what do you know, my coach remembered my birthday!"

Great coachees recognise great coaches.