Career Clairvoyant Gifts

'That line means good managerial skills!'

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Asking out a palm reader.

Quantum Psychic

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

"I'm not sure you'll want to know this."

'Oh, no - I have to read each tentacle - that'll be extra, of course.'

"You're solemates!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"Sweetie, I'm back from the dead!"

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

Not much money, glory, or praise

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

Psychic to Leylandii tree - 'You will reach great heights.'

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"So how much money have you made from your psychic hotline business?"

"He says he's been sending you messages from beyond the grave but it's possible they're going straight into your junk folder."

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

"I see a girl, I see a marriage, I see her not understanding you, I see a beer belly. Do you want me to go on?"

"We're having a special today on bright futures."

'It's Blurred.'

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

If I could sell my experience for half of what it cost me I could retire.

Ill next Thursday

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"A new set of dentures! Is that it?"

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

"Your husband says BOO!"

"You are going to meet a beautiful young lady at a biology lesson. . ."

"The only thing I'm sensing is an entrepreneurial spirit."