Career Change To Tech Or Spirituality Pillows

"The answers to the questions you seek could also be found on Google."

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

Caged Businessman

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

'Cat job interviews.'

'I have serious doubts about the efficiency of that new 'apples and bucket' hiring test.'

"I'm going on a retreat."

"How long have you been working from home, Mr. Farley?"

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

"I used to be a veterinarian."

"I dreamed last night that I had a job within walking distance."

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

First O.M.G. church.

"The aspirin there is your medical benefit and here is your vision benefit."

Cable Bill.

"Sorry I'm late again, boss. I got held up in self-doubt and regrets."

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

You Have 1 New Messages

"Who on earth would call on a landline? How rude!"

"This is incredible! I thought Amelia Earhart was dead."

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

'Any awards or honors?'

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

Holy phone

"I've given you a glowing reference, Hempson. And here's the disclaimer to go with it."

Evolution looks like a good career move.

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

"So where do you see yourself in 5 years apart from a thousand miles from this f****** s**thole?"

Palm Top Readings

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.