Card-carrying Prankster Pillows

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

A Guide to Balloon Animals

Boy rolled into a snowball

'He barks when he sees the boss coming.'

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

A cow poos down a hole.'UH-OH!'

'Take two tootsie rolls and call me in the morning.'

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Boy makes snowman around a lamp post.

Resourceful toddler

"If they want a snowball fight, then I'll give them one."

Tamagotchi paralysis.

'Sorry, miss. It seems to be stuck!'

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

"They look like pickles."

'I did it all from memory.'

Dog admiring hairless dog calendar

"Peter Parker is Spiderman! Clark Kent is Superman!! Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

'Hi, this is Batman. You've reached the Batcave. I'm not in right now but as soon as I return I'll call you bat.'

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"And this Halloween, try not to make a specter of yourself."

Teddy Time Bears

'I could eat you.'

"Ok, I found a secure line."

"We've invented a new word!"

Ooooh! Someone got a carrot job! Someone got a carrot job!