Carbon Comedian Pillows

A new study finds that carbon offsets do not actually help decrease greenhouse gas emissions.

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"At least, everybody's agreed about the next summit's name!"

The new green legislature requires methane mitigation.

"That explains all the cavities."

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

Where's my global warming?

"It's this trend that leads us to believe we should supplement our oil commodities with investments in some of the Earth's rich vinegar and crouton reserves."

"So I misplaced a couple hundred Bitcoin. Maybe the dog ate the wallet. I din't know. S**t happens!"

Ecotourism.

Icebergs talk about CNN appearance and looking thin on TV.

' I think I'm evolving due to global warming.'

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

"Mum? are you sure thers's such thing as global warming, coz I'm bloody freezing."

'Who turned up the thermostat?'

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

Interpretive Dental Hygiene

'The mountains were too cold for me you see, so I thought: People lost in the desert could need my skills too...'

Eat your salad. Blurg! Now! Quick! Put it into my bag! Finito. Mother! You've started up your compost pile, haven't you? You make it sound so rotten!

"Venice! What will climate change think of next?"

Paper Bath Towels.

Will work for manure.

US Winter Weather Map.

"Houston....I've found the 'Plank Constant'."

You put sparkling water in the WHAT?

M&S goes green - Carbon Neutralising Underpants.

"Hide? What do you mean hide? We are literally camouflage and they still eat us!"

"How much energy did you use to create me? I wasn't awakened with nuclear power, was I?..."

'It's a very common plant on earth.'

Welcome to the North Pole

'We've only cut our CO2 emissions to piss off the utilities companies.'