Carb-conscious Cafe-goer T-Shirts

"Got anything else? I gave up carbs."

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

'McWit, that's not what's meant by carbo loading.'

'I warned you about stuffing yourself with carbs, didn't I?'

"One slice—hold the bread."

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

Complex Carbs

Complex Carbohydrates

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

"She thinks I think it's real latte, but I know decaf when I taste it."

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"I wish he'd hurry up. My back's killing me."

Crusty Bread

Bakery. Don't you just love that new carb smell?!

"I thought you were trying to go carb-free?"

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

Café. Lo Carb Specialties Diner. It's ironic that they advertise on a sandwich board.

Ernie's on a high-protein diet and craving foods he can't have. They're creeping into everything he says. Whatcha watching, Ernie? I'm trying to decide between "Game of Scones" and that zombie show, "The Walking Bread." Later I might watch some "Dancing with the Starch." Ernie, leave room for that political drama you enjoy so much. Oh yeah, I love binging on "House of Carbs"!

"Well, they'd give you a pickle with your coffee if you ordered the Cafe Reuben!"

Carb free support group: 'Oh boy! I can have my cake and not eat it, too!'

'Not that we don't appreciate the popcorn, but how about something low-carb next time?'

Low Carb Slop

"But Dear, there were no fat people before bread was invented!"

'Not only can we build it for the same price as any other gingerbread house.. but we can do it for 40 LESS CARBS!'

Bad Carbs

'Raymond, do you really love me or just my low-carbohydrate meat?'

'We'll have to be more aggressive with your diet. I'd like to try something I call 'The Carbivore''.

"I'm taking you off sugar, carbs, red meat, poultry, dairy, non-dairy and anything served in a bucket."

"Pasta-nonymous Tuesdays & Thursdays. Unlimited breadsticks at 7."

'Sorry, no carbs.'

'But then after eating the porridge, all those carbs kicked in...'

'I'll have potato soup, potato salad, baked potato with fries and for dessert, potato pancakes.'