Carb-conscious Cafe-goer T-Shirts

"Got anything else? I gave up carbs."

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

'McWit, that's not what's meant by carbo loading.'

"One slice—hold the bread."

"Quit chasing carbs, try a protein bar."

'I understand the concept, sir, but I think I'd do better if it were a donut.'

Complex Carbohydrates

Complex Carbs

"In addition to the menu, we have a few specials on the board."

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

"She thinks I think it's real latte, but I know decaf when I taste it."

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

Crusty Bread

"I wish he'd hurry up. My back's killing me."

"Well, they'd give you a pickle with your coffee if you ordered the Cafe Reuben!"

"I thought you were trying to go carb-free?"

"One gluten-free, lactose-free, low carb pizza."

'Not that we don't appreciate the popcorn, but how about something low-carb next time?'

Bad Carbs

"I'm taking you off sugar, carbs, red meat, poultry, dairy, non-dairy and anything served in a bucket."

'We'll have to be more aggressive with your diet. I'd like to try something I call 'The Carbivore''.

Low Carb Slop

'Raymond, do you really love me or just my low-carbohydrate meat?'

"But Dear, there were no fat people before bread was invented!"

"Pasta-nonymous Tuesdays & Thursdays. Unlimited breadsticks at 7."

'Not only can we build it for the same price as any other gingerbread house.. but we can do it for 40 LESS CARBS!'

'Sorry, no carbs.'

'I'll have potato soup, potato salad, baked potato with fries and for dessert, potato pancakes.'

'But then after eating the porridge, all those carbs kicked in...'

"Let's see... I think we'll ignore our food, lick ourselves, then knock these flowers onto the floor."