Car Salesperson Pillows

'If this doesn't get them into the showroom, nothing will.' (customers following line of money.)

'Would you be interested in adding a few options?'

'Do you have a cordless model'

'It was owned by a little old lady. Legally, that's all I can say. She still owns the intellectual property rights to her story.'

'The warranty is for the life of the vehicle but we're not responsible if the vehicle doesn't live very long.'

'Drat! I better take her in. The check engine light just went off.'

'Sorry. No trade-ins.'

"Would you like to super-size that?"

"Every new car comes with your own backyard drilling rights."

"I checked your credit score... the best I can do for you today is this can of New Car Smell."

"And for an extra fourteen hundred dollars I'll stop touching your arm."

Woman Driving a Lemon.

'I need another raise so I can pay for the car that I bought to celebrate my last raise.'

Where airbags should be.

'Yes sir, this baby's turbo charged, fuel injected and has CD and DVD! Forget 'reindeer power' Mr Claus... and say hello to Horse Power!'

'I'd love to put you behind the wheel of this car. However, I doubt the bank will allow you to finance it for 30,000 months.'

Car dealers free hotdogs - "The best I can do is mustard and relish, ketchup and onions are optional."

'I suppose it would be ok as a little runaround for the wife...'

Prehistoric salesman in used tire lot.

'One previous owner, used it to go to the baths once a week, may I be buried alive if I lie...'

'And this little warning light flashes when the outside air becomes too polluted to breathe.'

'One owner. Couldn't handle the payments.'

Arab choosing a camel to buy. In the signs he can read ''coupe' or 'sedan.'

'She does about a hour on a full wind up.'

'This is one of our most popular models.'

"And this model comes with a virtual mother-in-law in the back seat to make it feel authentic."

'This baby says you've arrived. A little late perhaps. Missed a turn, had to stop for directions, but eventually got there.'

"If you read the small print you'll see that the 95 miles to the gallon was only when the car was being towed."

"This new car is so smart, it wrote its own AUTObiography."

"The worst thing about selling electric cars? The jokes about sticker shock."

"We raised the price but lowered the down payment.. so it kind of evens out."

Bob's car finally makes a statement.

"This one's the anti-collision computer and that one's the GPS..." "But there's no room for me!"

"Let's face it Guv, you could double its value just by putting in a litre of petrol!"

'Jim gets a powerful charge from electric cars but always gets burned by the sticker shock.'