Auto Salesperson Pillows

"Nope, no airbags. But did I mention the heavy-duty seatbelts?"

"... With a slightly above average mileage..."

'It's completely gutless. With all the money you save on speeding tickets it'll practically pay for itself.'

"I've been salesman of the year three years running. Buy the car or I'll your pants up over your head."

Did you know there are over 20,000 people with the last name "Dent"? This afternoon I had a very big and tall customer with that name. I thought I did a good job, but instead I got fired. I guess I shouldn't have told my boss "Today I put a huge Dent into an expensive, brand-new car." Auto Sales.

Auto Sales. I think the rear-engine model would be good for you. It looks like you're used to being pushed around.

"We'll take it!"

"Crazy that I'm giving it away!"

"We're not looking for a driverless car. Thanks to the holiday traffic, we're looking for a car that can fly."

Larry's used art

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

'It seats two comfortably.'

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

Mohammad's motors

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

It's great for pulling the birds!

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

'God's speed.'

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

'It's exactly what I need to drive our only child to school at the end of the road.'

"An enormous amount of advanced engineering has gone into our latest models. That's not to say, of course, that an enormous amount of advanced engineering hasn't always gone into all our models."

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

'Do you have any of those cars with 'My Child Is An Honor Student' bumper stickers on them?'

"Perfect."

"This electric car is environmentally friendly and will bring your family closer together."

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

"Don't mix this up...I want a car with a moonroof. He wants one with a sunroof."

'How about a nice saloon?'