Car Repair Enthusiast T-Shirts

'Before I give you the bill, I'm supposed to ask if you'd like me to buy you dinner first.'

"Today, we're learning how to change a flat tire."

"About three o'clock yesterday it was hot as hell. The dog was panting, making those clicky-clacky noises like a dog does, ya know. Jess heard the dog, and damn it if he didn't adjust Ferguson's valves and put on a new fan belt."

Tires, Oil Changes, Dumb Bumper Stickers Removed.

"I'm done fixing your wheel, but these were left over when I got it put back together."

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

"Have you tried turning it on and off again..?"

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

"We're having a little trouble with our hydraulic lift. I guess my question is, do you still want your muffler replaced?"

Man has applied car wax and sees the whole car melt in the sun.

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'

"Nap time."

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

"Actually he only asked for a buff-up."

A 1950's Barber Shop

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

'Any day now I'll fix the roof.'

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

'Bad news, Dr. Treemont...It needs an engine transplant.'

'Found your problem - there was a hairball in the gasline.'

'Guess what? I fixed your jack-in-the-box.'

"Your engine is experiencing a lot of internal combustion right now. Here's the name of a good psychotherapist."

"I'm having a little difficulty adjusting. The last place I worked was a lot bigger."

'I'm after a longer dipstick. This one doesn't reach the oil anymore.'

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

DIY store.

'D.I.Y. SAS.'

Four mechanics working on a car

"Sir, you may find this book very helpful, too."

Student tower pulling along a student driver.

'It was nothing serious, just bugs in your radiator grill.'

'I always wash it before applying the turtle wax.'

'I haven't paid four dollars a gallon since I bought that swamp land in Florida.'

Deux Ex Mechanic