Car Park Comedian T-Shirts

'Professional ice hockey is banning hits to the head...players may now back into each other when leaving the NHL parking lot.'

Jurassic Parking Lot

'Are we nearly there yet?'

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

"Here! Let me get you all in!"

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'Beware of SUV.'

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

No U-turns

Person who refuses to admit age on board. Feel free to drive with wild and reckless abandon.

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror

"I keep hearing a knocking noise."

My car idles well! It learned a lot from you!

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

Road rage in the car-to-car technology era.

'This model runs on antibiotics.'

Parking? I don't think so.

'I don't need a computer to tell me I failed to fasten my seat belt or release the emergency brake.'

The Magician world's version of Fluffy dice.

"Yes, it does come with a tech package. It's called a battery."

'I'm so embarrassed driving such a filthy vehicle...'

It's just until I stop chasing cars.

"Lazarus was a whole different deal. This engine is just dead, dead, dead."

My other dog is a golden retriever

Let Go and Let God