Car Painting Aficionado T-Shirts

'Try to guess what colour your car is, Dad!'

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

"What old school? This is my life."

Excess Baggage: In the old days folks called 2 weeks with 4 kids in a non-air conditioned car a vacation.

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

"Stop complaining and smile! It's a job, isn't it? NO wonder they call you Mona!"

"Which way to the Mona Lisa? We're double-parked."

'I agree, this artist will go far and he should start right now!'

"I don't know what happened, your holiness! I painted the ENTIRE CEILING!"

Car wash / Mouth wash

A Christmas tree self portrait

"A new Super Guardian attack vehicle? No no, I built this for Burning man."

"My method of painting is pointillism."

Hazards of mouse painting

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

Artist Retrospective.

Two New Paintbrushes

Eugene Delacroix

'This is Citroen Picasso's cubist period.'

Alberto Giacometti.

'What are they worth? Well, it's difficult to put a price on such extraordinary works of art. How much you got?'

"She's family."

Queuing for a Turner, Whistle, Monet exhibition in the rain - 'Atmospheric, isn't it?'

Old Vic / Adelphi Theatre

"Landscapes are nice but have considered painting still lifes?...maybe apples?"

'I started out as a sculptor, but I kept hitting my thumb.'

Artist painting a dancer.

'You never smile at me like that!'

The Worst Date Ever

Woman shops while man sets up noose. "Do I go with bright white, deep white...."

'Bacon? It's more like squashed sausages!'

'Lenny NEVER had any problems with cramped seats at football games - like most people do.'

Artist in Residence

'How did the 'creative way of thinking' course go?'