Car-loving Brother Gifts

Yes, That Was The Exit

Bitchbark Canoe

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

Haute Suture

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

'Projectile painting.'

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

"Recess does things to a man."

"It's called, 'Goth'."

Camel rider sees sign stating: The Next Mirage 16 miles.

'Let's see what else will explode in the microwave!'

Timpani.

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

Boy swinging on wrecking ball swing: 'Stu had a future in demolitions.'

'This program is geared towards the youth market. You give it up to five commands and it closes down in a huff!'

At the mobile tracking test lab.

"Hel-l-l-o-o-o-o Summer!"

"Frankly, Jackie Paper, I’ve done all I can with strings and sealing wax."

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

Where the framers of the Constitution bought their frames.

'This is my natural habitat.'

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."

"Goodnight Tommy, sleeptight, watch the millenium bugs don't bite."

'Might I caution you on suing the defendant for damages...such action is fraught with difficulty, given your 'hand-me-down' status in his family!!'

A boy blows a raspberry at birds

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

Spring is coming... Sunshine, warmer weather... and MUD

'Your imagination was so powerful he became real. It happens to me all the time.'

"With a little luck he'll be a benevolent teenager."