Car-loving Brother Gifts

Yes, That Was The Exit

Bitchbark Canoe

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

Haute Suture

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

'Projectile painting.'

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

"Recess does things to a man."

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

"It's called, 'Goth'."

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

Camel rider sees sign stating: The Next Mirage 16 miles.

'Let's see what else will explode in the microwave!'

Timpani.

'This program is geared towards the youth market. You give it up to five commands and it closes down in a huff!'

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

Boy swinging on wrecking ball swing: 'Stu had a future in demolitions.'

At the mobile tracking test lab.

Zorro as a child.

"Frankly, Jackie Paper, I’ve done all I can with strings and sealing wax."

"Hel-l-l-o-o-o-o Summer!"

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

Where the framers of the Constitution bought their frames.

'This is my natural habitat.'

"I'm beginning to worry she might work out who is really in charge."

'Might I caution you on suing the defendant for damages...such action is fraught with difficulty, given your 'hand-me-down' status in his family!!'

A boy blows a raspberry at birds

"Goodnight Tommy, sleeptight, watch the millenium bugs don't bite."

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

Spring is coming... Sunshine, warmer weather... and MUD

"With a little luck he'll be a benevolent teenager."