Car Dealership Worker Pillows

Employee of the Month: Mr Wiggles.

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

It's great for pulling the birds!

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

"Perfect."

'How about a nice saloon?'

Our Cars Are Made By 100% American-Made Robots.

"We can now shop for, purchase and crash our new car online."

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

Auto Mechanic Birthdays

Stimulus bust

'I sense you're in the market for a Hybrid.'

"It's got an incredible range for an E.V."

"Now if it's a people-mover you're after..."

Parts of an automobile

'It was owned by a little old lady. Legally, that's all I can say. She still owns the intellectual property rights to her story.'

'I'd love to put you behind the wheel of this car. However, I doubt the bank will allow you to finance it for 30,000 months.'

"This new car is so smart, it wrote its own AUTObiography."

'This is the most fool-efficient model to date. It gets 100 smiles per gallon.'

'It's for her - Do you have one with a bumper all the way around?'

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

"It's about the 'air conditionin' - Two weeks I've 'ad the car and I've still got split ends!"

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

Autos. You can drive a hard bargain, but you may find a bargain is hard to drive.

"The forty thousand dollars includes a rear view mirror!"

"I wish I could give you more on the trade-in, but all that guano really did a number on the paint."

Car dealers free hotdogs - "The best I can do is mustard and relish, ketchup and onions are optional."

"It was basically $10,000 per cup holder."

'Power steering.'

"Since it cost as much as our house, can we take out a mortgage instead of a loan?"

OBSOLETE: Any state of the art vehicle you bought last week for mega bucks.

"It's powered by clean hydroelectricity from Norwegian fjords and built from 100% recycled shopping bags. We call it the Smugmobile!"