Car Dealership Staff Pillows

"After looking over your financial application, I'm going to have our youngest sales rep show you your options."

'Crash test dummy parking only' sign.

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

It's great for pulling the birds!

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

"Perfect."

'How about a nice saloon?'

"We can now shop for, purchase and crash our new car online."

'I sense you're in the market for a Hybrid.'

"Now if it's a people-mover you're after..."

"It's got an incredible range for an E.V."

Parts of an automobile

'It was owned by a little old lady. Legally, that's all I can say. She still owns the intellectual property rights to her story.'

SUV's Off A Gas-Price Cliff

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

'I'd love to put you behind the wheel of this car. However, I doubt the bank will allow you to finance it for 30,000 months.'

"This new car is so smart, it wrote its own AUTObiography."

'It's for her - Do you have one with a bumper all the way around?'

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

'... Yes, that's right. It has had one careful owner and three not so careful owners.'

"It's about the 'air conditionin' - Two weeks I've 'ad the car and I've still got split ends!"

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

"The forty thousand dollars includes a rear view mirror!"

Car dealers free hotdogs - "The best I can do is mustard and relish, ketchup and onions are optional."

"It was basically $10,000 per cup holder."

'I was looking for something more passive-aggressive.'

"Oh ... it's a sub-compact. From across the showroom it looked like you were standing next to an SUV."

"Since it cost as much as our house, can we take out a mortgage instead of a loan?"

OBSOLETE: Any state of the art vehicle you bought last week for mega bucks.

Internal Combustion.

"It's powered by clean hydroelectricity from Norwegian fjords and built from 100% recycled shopping bags. We call it the Smugmobile!"