Car Dealership Staff Prints

"After looking over your financial application, I'm going to have our youngest sales rep show you your options."

'Crash test dummy parking only' sign.

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

It's great for pulling the birds!

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

"Perfect."

'How about a nice saloon?'

"We can now shop for, purchase and crash our new car online."

"It's got an incredible range for an E.V."

Parts of an automobile

"Now if it's a people-mover you're after..."

Auto Mechanic Birthdays

'I sense you're in the market for a Hybrid.'

'It was owned by a little old lady. Legally, that's all I can say. She still owns the intellectual property rights to her story.'

SUV's Off A Gas-Price Cliff

'Yeah, truck makers are going vertical instead of horizontal with the extended cabs now. It's the latest trend...'

'I'd love to put you behind the wheel of this car. However, I doubt the bank will allow you to finance it for 30,000 months.'

"This new car is so smart, it wrote its own AUTObiography."

"Everybody's a comedian. When I asked the clerk if he had this size bolt, he laughed and asked, 'What are you - some kind of nut?'"

'This is the most fool-efficient model to date. It gets 100 smiles per gallon.'

'It's for her - Do you have one with a bumper all the way around?'

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

"The forty thousand dollars includes a rear view mirror!"

"I wish I could give you more on the trade-in, but all that guano really did a number on the paint."

"It's about the 'air conditionin' - Two weeks I've 'ad the car and I've still got split ends!"

Autos. You can drive a hard bargain, but you may find a bargain is hard to drive.

'... Yes, that's right. It has had one careful owner and three not so careful owners.'

Car dealers free hotdogs - "The best I can do is mustard and relish, ketchup and onions are optional."

"It was basically $10,000 per cup holder."

OBSOLETE: Any state of the art vehicle you bought last week for mega bucks.

"Since it cost as much as our house, can we take out a mortgage instead of a loan?"

"Let me guess...you got a job here because you needed new parts for your lowrider project?"

"It's powered by clean hydroelectricity from Norwegian fjords and built from 100% recycled shopping bags. We call it the Smugmobile!"