Car Dealers Pillows

"The great thing about selling these babies is that if the buyer misses a payment the car drives itself back to our dealership!"

And this is the economy model.

'I need a car I can't afford.'

Larry's used art

Drool Marks

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

'I said they're good, but expensive.'

'It seats two comfortably.'

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."

'It's St Patrick's Day...I thought you called this car your lucky charm??!'

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

'Sorry, that was before the fed raised the interest rates.'

It's great for pulling the birds!

Mohammad's motors

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

'God's speed.'

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

"Even my chauffeur has a chauffeur."

'Do you have any of those cars with 'My Child Is An Honor Student' bumper stickers on them?'

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

'It's too cheap, can I haggle you up?'

"This car is a retro classic. Instead of a USB outlet there's a cigarette lighter."

"An enormous amount of advanced engineering has gone into our latest models. That's not to say, of course, that an enormous amount of advanced engineering hasn't always gone into all our models."

'It's exactly what I need to drive our only child to school at the end of the road.'

"Perfect."

"This electric car is environmentally friendly and will bring your family closer together."

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

'Take me to your auto body shop.'

"It goes from the factory to us in $29,500."

'And here's the toolkit.'