Used Car Dealer Pillows

"Nope, no airbags. But did I mention the heavy-duty seatbelts?"

'All our vehicles come with a 24-hour, round-the-block guarantee.'

'I wish I could accept your offer but I really wanted to sell the whole car.'

"Auto, air, V6, dual overhead cam ..."

"... With a slightly above average mileage..."

'This baby says you've arrived. A little late perhaps. Missed a turn, had to stop for directions, but eventually got there.'

'Dependable, basic transportation. Guaranteed to drive the ladies wild, especially low-maintenance ones.'

'This model runs on antibiotics.'

"You've been sold a right lemon here, mate."

"I told you he was honest."

Are you the man who sold me this car?

"Isn't it a beauty? I just washed it!"

'I can let you have this one at a good price. The owner had a change of heart and left town in a hurry.'

'Sorry. We don't have a 'Cash for Cluckers' program.'

'Can I sniff the tires first?'

Car Dealer

Used cars.

Jorgen's quality used Fjords.

"And because I buy so irresponsibly, I pass the fleecing onto you."

'And then, how many boy-racers?'

'The base price is $200, for the iron ore.'

Used Cars. Think of it this way --- As things fall off, the miles per gallon go up!

'How about a nice saloon?'

One owner, not counting the times it was stolen.

Car Salesman

Econo Air-bag

"Just one lady owner. Only ever used it to run down to the shops and back."

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

Larry's used art

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

"Do you buy cars here?"

'It seats two comfortably.'

"It's ideal for the man who works close to home."