Auto Dealer Pillows

'Would you be interested in adding a few options?'

'Doctor, are you going to finance it or shall I just bill Medicare?'

"Would you like to super-size that?"

"You know, maybe he's not the small-business man he claims to be."

'I meant, how flexible are you on price?'

'Just came in. It's a repo.'

Vehicle Sales.

'I wish I could accept your offer but I really wanted to sell the whole car.'

"And even though this is an older used model... it's perfect for those out-of-the-way places!"

"Do you have anything much smaller that can paradoxically hold many more people."

"Twenty preprogrammed hand gestures allow you to signal everything from a simple lane change to homicidal rage."

'Driverless cars are coming.'

"If you want to buy this, I'm afraid I'm going to need to see some justification."

Auto leasing

"It comes fully equipped with all the latest safety features ? aside from the optional life-car."

'This baby says you've arrived. A little late perhaps. Missed a turn, had to stop for directions, but eventually got there.'

This tire comes with a one million mile warranty.

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

"This new car is so smart, it wrote its own AUTObiography."

'I'm thinking even up, with my old car's trade-in value.'

'If you're a driver who likes it all, take a look at this! Sour cream, onions, cheddar cheese, and bacon bits - this baby's loaded!!!'

Teds Autos - Never knowingly undersealed.

"And as you can see, the spare log has never been used."

'When I shift gears, it sticks in the fourth quarter.'

"I hope the four-wheel drive dealership isn't too far."

Locally made, handcrafted cars - no two alike.

"I want one that's going to fall apart. . ."

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

"Fuel economy and towing capacity. Those are my primary considerations."

"How long will the 'previously owned' smell last?"

"And this model features a nifty, manual back-up device."

"Believe me, with the Equalizer, here, you'll never take any crap from an S.U.V. again."

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

"If you want me to evict the hobo living in the back seat it'll cost you extra."

"I'd be glad to, but what happened to the car I sold you yesterday?"