Car Customization Buff T-Shirts

"This says Hispanic life expectancy has risen to 80 years."

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

Men's fragrances...

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

'...and, of course you get a company car.'

"It took a lot of work to build this car..."

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

"Perfect."

"Well, my paycheck barely pays the bills, I might need a second job, my wife is on my case, and my dad's in the hospital."

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

A souped up car...

Fast Lane. cars Like yours.

22. Being tireless is good trait to have in most jobs, but not when you're working on a pit crew.

A man drives a car with the word "LAWYER" painted backwards on the front hood so that it can be read in the rear-view mirrors of other cars.

“Mileage is great, but I need to customize the leg holes.”

"This new car is so smart, it wrote its own AUTObiography."

"Bangin’ rims. Sears?"

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

Democracy for Hire

"Just to be clear, you want suicide doors installed on your hearse?"

"I'm starting my own podcast about cars! I'll get to talk for hours about my favorite models and customizing my ride!"

"Yeah, I'm working on my own customized car, too."

'Are you sure we're on the right track?'

Clown shows his car to a clown mechanic, saying: 'She's running just great, could you take a look at her?'

The driverless car

A production line adds condiments to cars

Traffic Jam.

'Zero to sixty in three days.'

"You still working on your car?"

"Let me guess...you got a job here because you needed new parts for your lowrider project?"

Policeman to driver; 'You gotta be kidding. Your name is actually Anna Nicole Smith?'

Custom Cruiser Magazine Reader Survey: Do you own a lowrider?"

Used Cars. Spot. It seats six comfortably -- Of course, only four of them can stick their heads out the window.

'The doctors just install the artificial heart. We at Al's garage do the maintenance.'

Next time you buy a car, can you ask if it is self assembly?