Car Conundrum Collector T-Shirts

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

"Do you buy cars here?"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'God's speed.'

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

"This car is a retro classic. Instead of a USB outlet there's a cigarette lighter."

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'Hi, I'm looking for something small and portable!'

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

"You bought a 1964 Chevy ragtop Impala?!"

"An object of love that you can get inside, totally inside."

Big yellow sports utility vehicle.

'Though we understand your feelings towards your automobile, we aren't able to approve your application to marry it.'

Acme Flyswatters.

James May

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

Top model

"It's a sports car. It's supposed to be uncomfortable."

'It was owned by a little old lady. Legally, that's all I can say. She still owns the intellectual property rights to her story.'

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

'Now can we start a family Nigel?'

Driverless tow truck.

No Carrot Sign (like the old 'no radio' signs).

'Built in obsolescence: Mini with a wind up gramophone.'

Millipede motorist

"Do you have anything smaller?"

It says, "In lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to the automaker of your choice." Invite!

"We argue a lot about money--her library fines, my antique car collection..."