Captain Of Calamari Pillows

Giant squid attacks ship. Pirate asks: 'Who ordered the calamari?'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Captain in a storm

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

Man about dog parasailing: 'He's a water dog and a birder.'

Welsh airport arrivals.

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

I drive, therefore I am.

Woman as a beacon and guide of the family

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"Cat park"

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

Verbal Orders

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

"Let's see now - have we got everything?"

And overcoming their resistance by sheer skill.

What really happened on the EVER GIVEN

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

Solemn Reference is Made to Mr Bunsby

The crew can no longer tolerate Captain Bligh's ruthless splitting of infinitives."

"Get those decks cleaned you swabs!..."

'So it's true that dolphins help navigate.'

'I told you we should have unionized.'

'Well, we still think you're a naughty boy, running away to sea like that!'