Capitol Hill Insider Gifts

The Filibuster.

"National security adviser"

Lesser known greek gods,

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'

Obama's Financial Reform Pill: I hope they won't need a glass of water.

"Dad, why does a huge beast like that let such a small bully control it?"

Freedom of Speech

'This year there's a bi-partisan effort in Congress to keep things as partisan as possible.'

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

Fiscal cliff

'That damn racial scandal.'

'I know the Oval Office is in the West Wing. I wonder what mischief goes on in the East Wing?'

'I hear it's a grudge match between the three of them.'

J. Woogle - 20 years in congress, saying 'no' to everything.

Merchant Bankers - Patience is a virtue, anyone displaying it will be dismissed

'Frankly, I don't know if I feel like having a cup of coffee or trying to misappropriate some funds.'

"A truly revolutionary breakthrough:a microscope shot of our organisation!"

Biden immigration laws.

Partisan Politics

"You lead such an interesting life. I've never been called to testify before a Congressional Banking Committee."

Grand Theft Government

'Okay, we'll release one hostage, for six weeks!!'

'The spirit of bipartisan cooperation is back - if you vote against my bill, I'll vote against your bill.'

"The Speaker of the House is such a gossip!"

"There goes Congressman Nunes again."

GOP surprise.

"You know what I like about power? It's so damn empowering."

"You were filibustering in your sleep again."

Major Indicators

"We can't even admit we work here."

'I see John Boehner is being sworn in and Harry Reid is sworn at.'