Capital Nerd T-Shirts

'That's where they keep all the money I don't have anymore.'

Great Chinese Dynasties

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

My other cello is a Stradivari

'Yes, it is large for a smart phone, but then it does do absolutely everything.'

Comic,,,Drama,,,Laugh Track,

"Yaffle Pass Elevation 11,990 ft Continental Divide"

"You can't beat the smell of the greasepaint..."

"Post holiday sales look similar to the crater that killed the dinosaurs."

The End of Trump?

"Squawk! Interest rates are going negative!"

"No, unfortunately I won't be raising your debt ceiling."

"I'm Bobby. If you like the lemonade, perhaps you'd like to invest in the 'Jimmy's Lemonade' franchise, listed in NASDAQ..."

'I'm important to note we really are trying hard.'

'Our portfolio is not going anywhere. I'm going to add some transportation stocks to the mix to see if that will move our investments along.'

'The National Debt just sounds like it's a lot of money because it's such a large number.'

'We're all wearing them - they were a gift from Warren Buffett.'

Exotic Insects Arrive in England with Imported Fruit

Correct Spelling Lane.

"I see your point, but wouldn't it be more fun to spend it while I'm young enough to enjoy it?"

'Two new NBA franchises: The 'Wall Street Bulls' and the 'Main street bears'.'

Euro Discobolus

"I can't wait to feel the full impact."

'Medea' Studies

"Labor Shortage? Why don't we just clone our employees"

'...And then I adjusted for inflation.'

'Always bought low.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off by as much as two dollars.'

Bank manager reads book entitled: Banking for Dummies.

Manifest Destiny for Accountants

"Here she is, the girl of my dreams! We're in love and we're going to get married! And she's made out of boxes!"

F.W. Woolworth and Karl Marx Go Into Retailing

We cater to the small investor.