Capital Gains Strategist T-Shirts

'What's this I hear about you going long?'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Work hard. Save money. Yay!!! I died rich!"

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

Will work for ETFs

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

Day trading.

World Economic Crisis.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

"He'll do anything to say in power."

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'The recession is over, again.'

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"I just..."