Capital Enthusiast Gifts

"I can't sleep. I just got this incredible craving for capital."

'In today's stocks... small caps rose on news big company stocks fell...'

'Always bought low.'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Profit

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

Annual profits,

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

G7 Summit Concern

Wall Street Couch

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"