Capital Controller Pillows

"Could you be more specific than 'some capital to play around with'?"

"Why do you need so many computers?" "One for billing, one for stock control, one for human resources, one for financial management..."

Homo Gamus

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

"Here's what you wanted – a strategy to live abundantly, build capital, surpass your peers and disappoint your heirs."

'What's this I hear about you going long?'

"This is Thompson, he has a black belt in budget control."

"For this year's financial picture, we've done away with graphs."

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

'That seating section is for video gamers only.'

Large cap funds

'You've had enough!'

'Always bought low.'

"My drone strikes are successful, Sir, but I keep getting trash talk from a 15 year old in Montana."

'We've simplified the control to 2 buttons - snooze and panic.'

"I'll only be a few minutes more dad!"

Financial Pirates

"I think this new financial controller is going to be trouble..."

'Video games don't seem to have done my dad any harm.'

'In today's stocks... small caps rose on news big company stocks fell...'

'I'd like to investigate your tax return.'

"Back in my day, 'Call of Duty' wasn't a game."

'What's wrong? You can play any game you want! Mwaahahaha!'

"I'm sorry, but this is a capital campaign."

'I think we might have to find some money to do something about the office heating...'

"I can't sleep. I just got this incredible craving for capital."

LOAN - just say 'No'

"...Instead of raw, how would you like your egg tepid?"

At Times the Term "Joystick" Was a Misnomer.

'That was a test of our school's emergency broadcasting system. If this were a real emergency, you would have been asked not to talk to reporters.'

Police Marksman Game

"The salary is unimportant—I'll just siphon off what I need."

"It started out as a simple case of compassion fatigue, but within a week, it had developed into full-blown amoral ruthlessness. Of course, that's when my career really took off, so I've just learned to live with it."