Capital Campaigner Pillows

"I'm sorry, but this is a capital campaign."

"Good boy."

National Everything Awareness Day

'If only every year was an election year.'

Save the unicorn.

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

Palin 2012

With no clear winner, the debate ended in a tie breaker.

'The candidates campaign promises have been re-named campaign ideas to avoid lawsuits.'

Jerry Brown.

"With great power comes great reward."

Save the termites.

'Daddy! There's a Politician in my closet!'

Political Debate, 'I'd like a word with the debate chairman.'

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

vote

'Wow. The anti-smoking movement really has been successful.'

"Find out what the people want so I can tell it like it is."

Approved Debate Questions

Trump promises versus reality.

"Rudy, did you realize it's illegal for a boss to tell his minion how to vote?...And that therefore, I would never tell you to vote for my friend Patsy Marionette, for city council?"

Tony Blair

Friends of the Earth

"If talk is cheap, why do candidates need super PACs to finance elections?"

"The nonprofit competitive grant season begins

'Remember when the worry was over little swift boat attacks?'

The Wall St. 'fat cats' are going to pay for this mess. And that payment will come in the form of a contribution to my re-election campaign.