Cap-and-gown Critic Gifts

'These outfits make us look stupid.'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"After a long day or remote work, it feels great to change into something less comfortable."

Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

Graduate

Zumma Cum Laude

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

"How can we order wine with dinner? You're not wearing a necktie."

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

"I'm passing on Halloween parties this year. You just know everyone's going to show up as Martha Stewart."

Graduate of 2021

"I think your tailor has seriously miscalculated your rise, Herbert."

Graduate

"The best part is, for me history is now history!"

"What does he know, and how long will he know it?"

'I tried on these jeans. I didn't think they were stretch jeans, but they stretched.'

'... and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those dang meddling kids... that and my incredibly stupid plan. Also in retrospect, I realize my costume was, regrettably, quite lame.'

"This would be perfect! If it were a different style, in a different color, from a different store."

"Do you know your name? Do you know where you are? Do you remember the accident? Do you know you had a hole in your underpants?"

Graduate.

"Well, I think they fit perfectly."

If i could just once get my hands on the wacky cartoonist who designed this stupid costume

Style Consultant

"See, Kevin ... I told you you'd be too scary if you go trick or treating as a dentist!"

"Everyone who cares about you is here, Frank, because we all feel it's time you quit wearing your baseball cap backwards."

Some New Mortarboard Styles.

"Alex refuses to put on his Halloween costume."

Resumes

"I didn't know you had a minor."

To warm up touch your toes twenty times. No way! My cap will fall off!