Cap And Gown Comedians Gifts

'Congratulations! This year we're saving money by letting all our graduates download their diplomas from our website.'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

I thought I was proposing to Sally, but evidently I was challenging her to a twenty year series of debates.

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

Graduate

Zumma Cum Laude

Sen. Krupt. Your vote should never be for sale. It's much more efficient to rent it out!

"I followed the money and it led me to Edgar."

"The best part is, for me history is now history!"

Unsuitable clothing.

"What does he know, and how long will he know it?"

Certificate in Living Room Celebrating Three Days Without Argument

"You have your emotional support animal and I have mine."

Graduate.

"I don't want to look ridiculous at the clown convention!"

Some New Mortarboard Styles.

"I didn't know you had a minor."

Resumes

"Wash and Quo"

"Wake up Jeff. You're snoring again!"

"Well, I've been a hot dog, pizza slice, cheeseburger, and popcorn bucket, but no, I don't have any burrito experience."

'Ar ... to be sore, to be sore.' - Post St Patrick's Day.

Western Institute of Architectural Design - Congratulations class of 2005!

Graduation.

'Congratulations, your days of avoiding the real world are finally over.'

Graduate Joins the Unemployment Queue.

'Why do you carry your electronics in a fancy case, but your clothes in a paper bag?'

Bob Becket HMS Pinafore

"You're not really getting this whole mask thing, are you, Bob?"

Four days later, it occurred to Geoff that he may have been taking the 'lather, rinse, repeat' instructions too literally.

Shampoo - New Flick In The Eye Cap

'The captain yelled women and children first.'

"It's an intern-eat-intern world out there!"