Canvas Critique Pillows

'Then he had a near death experience...'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

(Camel paintings)

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

"Well....I could've done this!"

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Cat with Nine Still Lives

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

The Rise of Modern Art

'Nice, but it needs more angst.'

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

Art Plagiarism

"He's left out the staples"

Couple painting each other - one turns to the other and says, 'Hon, let's hire a model.'

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

"It's called 'Sold'."

Jackson Pollock makes a mistake: 'Guess I'll have to start over.'

"This one will go with everything,

'Stupido Digitale! Chucka me a sloppy brush, there's a gooda chap.'

Trash-talkin' artists

'I can't tell the kitch from the schlock any more.'

"Apparently he only uses fugitive colours."

Tilted painting

"Is this 'pollocks'."

How Art Works.

"You've once said about your work, 'Meow, meow-meow, meeeow.' What did you mean by that?"

'The artist did this one during his 'I've got no idea' - period.'

It finally happened, models so thin they only consist of few molecules.

"It's too academic."

"He's not an enfant terrible, he's just terrible."

Guillaume Apollinaire

'Turned out non-figurative again...'

The painting Painter