Canvas Crafters T-Shirts

"I work strictly with acrylics."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

(Camel paintings)

"I'm the only sane artist in the world."

"Feel better, dear?"

"He's an abstract artist."

Cartooning 101: Figure Drawing

Art Plagiarism

'I think you've put that in the wrong place.'

Couple painting each other - one turns to the other and says, 'Hon, let's hire a model.'

"Your painting is both original and good. Sadly, the good bits are not original and the original bits are not good."

Painting the portrait of a weight lifter.

"It's called 'Sold'."

'Picasso'

'I'm glad you like it, but I haven't started it yet.'

Jackson Pollock makes a mistake: 'Guess I'll have to start over.'

"I'm ahead of my time."

How Art Works.

'Stupido Digitale! Chucka me a sloppy brush, there's a gooda chap.'

'A resume painted in oils on canvas? How long have you been out of work?'

David Hockney

Medical Arts Building

The painting Painter

Jackson Pollock's early paint-by-numbers period.

'And you all thought I didn't have a hobby.'

"You have indeed purchased an original Rembrandt. A Ralph Rembrandt."

Painting Music

"Not moonshine - small batch, artisanal grain alcohol."

'For goodness sake, Miss Pendleton, stop jiggling about!'

"I spent twelve years making this. Where's MY award?"

Painter Sheltering Under His Canvas.

You still working on that?

Abstract Paintings.

Pavement artist.

"Pfft. Derivative."