Cannonball Fanatic T-Shirts

'Yo! No cannonballs!'

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Dolphin friendly tuna

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary

No jay walking.

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

The Perfect Cannonball

'You're not really that much help, Ben.'

Would you mind putting the barbecue out?

Child hooking into a television

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

'Your father and I support your career aspirations, but we feel you need a new practice space.'

"You know damn well what noise!"

"You have perhaps only. . . six hundred months to live!!!"

Tank driver wielding a slingshot.

After this embarrassing incident, the woman who lived in a shoe finally checked herself into odor-eaters anonymous.

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

Reigning Cats and Dogs

"Well, all the qualifications are here; 'sit', 'stay', 'roll over', 'beg'…."

"The bagel’s from a previous marriage."

One giant bark for dogkind.

'How could he say there's nothing wrong with me when I've given him the best symptoms of my life!'

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

"Wanna come back to my pad..?"

'I'm not hibernating there again - I got the heebie-jeebies being around so many snakes!'

"Crayons again?"

"Know anything funny I could turn into a cartoon?"

'Nine out of ten witch doctors stranded on an island prefer eyes of newt over bat wings for a headache.'