Canine Soulmate Gifts

Man with broken leg in cast.

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Foster failure"

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

Barks in code.

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

'He barks when he sees the boss coming.'

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

Hush puppy.

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

A man and his dog

"I'm working from home today."

'Bloody favouritism I call it.'

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

Wagging Dog

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

'You're not supposed to catch them!'