Canine Medical Detective Pillows

'Let's see...fever, rhinorrhea, chorea...Aha! canine distemper!'

Barks in code.

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

'So who needs sonar?!'

Murder in Apartment 6-K

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

'The word bath is mentioned.'

"Pssst. Fake poop."

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

Man to pets about upside down house: 'I don't care who started it!'

"What's all this?"

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

"Now how did she know?"

Fido and Fifi

Clandestine cows.

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"I take it you want to go for a perp walk."

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"