Canine Counsellor Pillows

"Have you buried the dinner again...??"

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

Couples' therapy

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Have you tried biting him?"

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"We value your input, but all your suggestions involve more play-time, naps and treats."

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"I know you're scared, but you can do this! Remember that time I had to clean up after you and I didn't have a bag and had to use leaves?! I was so afraid, but I did it…"

Marv was trying to teach Rufus how to be a REAL retriever.

'I hate all holidays!'

"I have special needs-- good food, warm bed, fresh water, and plenty of room to pop wheelies!"

"There are no bad dogs. Only good dogs who make bad choices."

'First of all, calm down - your allowed to be on the couch.'

Roland, the schizophrenic cowboy.

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"Well..I think the old Thermograph machine I rescued from work goes a treat with our kitchen units."

'You are both charged with quarrelling without a license!'

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

"I don't know, maybe I'm just being mallowdramatic."

Harvey went to the kitchen to top up his gin and tonic. When he came back, things took an unexpected turn.

"I'm thinking 'woof-woof' but I'm saying 'arf-arf'."

"I see so much love reflected back in his adorable little face."