Pet Counselor Pillows

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Will you be taking these home or chewing them right here?"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"We value your input, but all your suggestions involve more play-time, naps and treats."

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

"Have you tried biting him?"

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

Dog Obedience School: 'I think we're going to have our work cut out with this one.'

Codepetdency Counseling: "He won't even sit on my lap anymore."

"I don’t know how many ways I can explain it. One morning you’ll just wake up and know that you’re in love."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"I have special needs-- good food, warm bed, fresh water, and plenty of room to pop wheelies!"

"There are no bad dogs. Only good dogs who make bad choices."

'First of all, calm down - your allowed to be on the couch.'

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

"I see so much love reflected back in his adorable little face."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

But it's the other leg that hurts.

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

"It's nice to be wanted."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

So You Finally Caught Your Tail

SPCA: USED CATS AND DOGS

"Have you got one that's a bit more pessimistic?"

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

"He never sniffs my butt anymore."