Canine Complainant Pillows

'She says I'm the neighbor from hell?! Just tell her to keep her bloody dog quiet.'

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"Thank you for your e-mail. I will be out on a walk for the next twenty minutes and plan on barking remotely until my return."

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

'Crabs, sharks, octopi...'

'I don't know if we should stay there, dear. That kennel only got two stars.'

"Let's talk about my Right of Publicity after this photo."

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

Homework eating dogs

"I heard you are charging a monthly fee for using your debit card, and I'm here to complain!"

"Of course I hear it when you say 'come'. I just choose to ignore it."

I assume obedience class was a washout then.

'I like it.'

Ban Low Flow Toilets.

Dog reading catalog with impish grin.

A Dog Who Never Got His Day.

'Sorry, they all smell the same to me.'

Dog spelled backward is GOD, cat is TAC, a pain in the butt.

"I just don't get it. According to my calculations, they spend on average five days out of seven away from home: Where do they go and what do they do?"

"Do you mind? That’s really annoying."

'Could you speak up a little? - I've got six billion of the little twerps buzzing in my ears!'

"Complaints about the industry have gone through the roof!"

'Bless me father for I have sinned, I lied about my pie crusts not having lard in them, 12 times, and I killed my daughter's Schnauzer.'

Cooling off period? I'm so cold I'll probably never use your company again!

'You stated on your resume that you're selfish, independent, and you hate dogs. I think you and I are going to get on wonderfully.'

'I said... oh, forget it!'

"I love it when dogs work on their stupid."

Man about to hammer nail into wall as neighbour listens.

'Open up Mr. Yomp! I can hear clucking in thee!'

Complaints Department.