Canine Comic Lover Gifts

Balloon dog training

Mountain Rescue for a Dog.

"Once again, Dave blew the date when his instincts got the better of his etiquette."

Beware of the Dog.

'My dog has no nose.'

"...P.S. Stay off the furniture!"

'DOWN, Orgasm! DOWN!'

'Now roll over and play dead.'

'Look he's depressed because he can't pick up the Sunday paper with all the supplements,'

"After years of unsuccessfully trying to catch my tail, I decided to just follow it on twitter."

International Women's Day

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

Moses separating his Laundry.

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

No-Work Orange

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"I'm not here to slay you. I'm here to talk to you about diversifying your investment portfolio."

'You just don't know when to give up, do you?'

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

"Have you been playing dice?"

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

"I was almost that last year."

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Window Treatment

'I think your father's had one of his big ideas...'

The Food Chain

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

This condition could be hereditary - does stupidity run in your family?

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."