Canine Cleanliness Advocate Gifts

A Change of Scene.

Biofelineism

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

'I said 'barium,' not 'bury him'!'

'I just finished the floors, so they better stay clean!'

"Cheers mate, you've done me a solid."

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

"Before you go anywhere, did you lick behind your ears?"

'I know my instruments are sterilized every day but I have no idea who does it.'

In the art gallery

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

"Sorry, but it is not negotiable! You have to let Tim clean your teeth twice a day!"

"Is your dog friendly?!"

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

"Yes, you were in a breech position, and it was the first time I was really pleased to see the vet..."

"I've seen this before. Keep his head inside the car when the vehicle is in motion."

'Are you serious? I've got a good mind to report you to the grievance commitee'

'Only peanut butter and jelly fingers, Sir.'

'My mom invented baths!'

'A Dust Cow'.

"Your test results are in. You've got Irritable Growl Syndrome."

'Doc, I'm plagued with eggeating snakes!'

'I'm just draining the reservoir.'

'And this bone, would you say he wanted to pick it for quite some time?'

"Well, when you were called a 'bad dog,' were you publicly harmed?"

Medieval Torture

"Let's talk about my Right of Publicity after this photo."

"I-800-DOGYLAW"

"He wants the cat for his next trick. I'd be real careful about this, Eileen."

'I thought you knew I was a small animal doctor.'

'He says not to panic because horses have lots of blood,...

'I know I've been hard on you at times, pushed you when you were tired, studied you, probed you, but it was all in the interest of science.'

School janitor empties numbers out of math room waste basket.