Canine Caucus Gifts

If you ask me, pets shouldn't be allowed in the House of Commons...

"I was almost that last year."

Dog Dressed to Eat

"I offer emotional support and companionship for those with PTSD." "I detect cancer and other human diseases by scent detection." "I squeak-fart when startled."

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

"I actually had this haircut before I became a mom."

"Never mind how I got up here....just call the fire department."

Mrs Sutherland and her American Hairless Terrier.

Why would a dog wear a hat?

Dog wearing jumper to hide his spots.

"Really, self-taught - that's remarkable!"

"Pretty good dog, huh, Larry?"

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

'Get Doc Weston and Tell him I have a fever and to come over quick. We have a show to do tonight.' The talking dog goes over to the doctor's house and simply says 'woof'.

"Hey. That's my Roscoe. I always thought he liked that game."

"You realize, I guess, that you've left your DNA on that."

Houdini's Dog.

'The veterinarian made brushing his teeth sound so easy.'

Quick, bring me a stencil. Banksy's dog.

"She's a model dog, alright. When she's not on a catwalk, she demands a lot of attention, requires constant grooming, and is a picky eater."

'That's the worst case of fleas I've ever seen...!'

"OK, OK, I believe that you were an ‘all-state gymnast at obedience school’... now please get down."

"No one ever really wears collars like these, of course."

Dog with bald spots wearing jumper.

"Rufus, stop being naughty with Mrs. Curtis!"

"Aw, so cute - scooter's running in his sleep again."

Ban Low Flow Toilets.

"Apparently removing my reproductive organs wasn't enough."

"Have you been giving the dog a make over again?"

Hillary Clinton's cat.

"You want twenty bones delivered? Are you sure Mr Jones? You usually order two bones a week."

"I told him about anthropomorphism, and he decided to try it."

'I'm in a barking cessation training program. This is how I express my hostility.'

Despite what his friends said about 'ugly Christmas sweaters', Chester couldn't wait to have his holiday pet photo taken...'